i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Randomize
