Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
