I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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