I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize