You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize