New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
there is glitter all over my balls
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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