I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
