Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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