just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I believe in your delicious
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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