ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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