Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Alive.
So much puke
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
