Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
