I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
