I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
