This girl is more easily done than said...
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
do nipples grow back?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
