Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
