the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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