five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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