I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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