chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize