How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
