im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
