four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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