she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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