whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Even the bartender felt bad for me
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
