She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
