were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
