So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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