i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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