I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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