you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
