College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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