Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
