I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
