Can i not drive my cunt home
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
