i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
