Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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