So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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