Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Every concussion has its silver lining
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
