He asked me if I "almost moaned"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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