So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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