you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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