shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Rumble strips road head = magical
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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