is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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