if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize