He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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