I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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