I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
