We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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