Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
