Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
