Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
