can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
