PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
