Me. At least after what I've been through.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
