Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Randomize
