I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize