one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize