I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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