WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
